I asked an AI chatbot to write about being a grandfather. Oh my God.

May 23, 2023 1:41 pm May 23, 2023

1354 views

There’s a lot of buzz about Artificial Intelligence (AI) these days, with advances happening much faster than we mere humans can control. Even leaders in the AI sector are going before Congress to urge regulation before things get out of hand.

Based on what I saw this morning, things are already out of hand.

I checked out Bard, from the geniuses at Google. Technically Bard is a conversational generative artificial intelligence chatbot. But Google calls it, and I quote, “Your creative and helpful collaborator to supercharge your imagination, boost productivity, and bring ideas to life.” Ok, I thought, I’m game. Over breakfast, I visited Bard and asked it to write me a blog post about being a grandfather. I wanted to see what a machine would come up with. In 2 seconds it shared the following insights:

“Being a Grandfather: The Best Job in the World
Being a grandfather is one of the most rewarding experiences in life. It’s a chance to relive your own childhood through the eyes of your grandchildren, and to pass on your love, wisdom, and experience to the next generation.
There are so many things that make being a grandfather great. You get to spoil your grandchildren rotten without having to worry about the consequences. You can take them on adventures, teach them new things, and just generally have a lot of fun.
But being a grandfather is more than just fun. It’s also a great responsibility. You have the opportunity to make a real difference in your grandchildren’s lives. You can help them to learn and grow, and to become the best people they can be.If you’re lucky enough to be a grandfather, cherish the experience. It’s a gift that you’ll never forget.
Here are some of the best things about being a grandfather:
• You get to see the world through new eyes. When you’re a parent, you’re often too busy to really appreciate the wonder of childhood. But as a grandfather, you have the time to slow down and enjoy every moment.
• You get to be a kid again. There’s nothing quite like playing with your grandchildren and getting to relive your own childhood. It’s a chance to let loose and have some fun.
• You get to pass on your wisdom and experience. As a grandfather, you have the opportunity to share your knowledge and life lessons with your grandchildren. This is a valuable gift that they will cherish for the rest of their lives.
• You get to create lasting memories. The time you spend with your grandchildren will create lasting memories that you will both cherish forever.

If you’re thinking about becoming a grandfather, I encourage you to go for it. It’s an amazing experience that you will never regret.

Here are some tips for being a great grandfather:
• Be present. When you’re with your grandchildren, be fully present and engaged. Put away your phone and other distractions and focus on them.
• Be patient. Grandchildren can be a handful, so it’s important to be patient with them. Remember, they’re still learning and growing.
• Be loving. Show your grandchildren how much you love them. Tell them, hug them, and play with them.
• Be a role model. Be the kind of person you want your grandchildren to be. Show them what it means to be kind, compassionate, and responsible.
Being a grandfather is a wonderful privilege. Cherish the time you have with your grandchildren and make the most of it.”

In 1950, a British cybernetics pioneer named Alan Turing developed what he called The Imitation Game, known today as the Turing Test.

The test was designed to determine a machine’s ability to exhibit intelligent behavior equivalent to, or indistinguishable from, we humans. The Turing Test is more relevant today than ever as AI chatbots proliferate. How can we tell if an AI program is writing or speaking, or if it’s a real person?

Bard failed the Turing Test in glaring and hilarious fashion with this sentence: “If you’re thinking about becoming a grandfather, I encourage you to go for it.”

From Bard’s perspective, we have complete control over when we’re going to become grandparents, like it’s deciding if we’re joining a gym or taking up knitting. Running with this idea, here’s an imaginary father/daughter conversation.

A phone rings. A young lady answers.

“Hi dad!”
“Hi, honey, how are you and Peter doing?”
“Good, good. Busy. How are you and mom?”
“We’re great. Planning a trip to Albuquerque
in the spring.”
“Nice.”
“Oh, and one other thing. I’ve decided to become a grandfather!”
Pause. Silence.
“I see, well, that would be wonderful someday.”
“I’m thinking now, actually.
“Hold on, dad. Peter and I aren’t ready.”
“Honey, you’ve been married for five years and it’s time to start procreating. Mom and I aren’t getting any younger.”
“But Peter and I need more time to travel, see the world, just enjoy each other before we have kids.”
“Well, Bard told me that being a grandfather is a wonderful privilege. I should cherish the time I have with my grandchildren and make the most of it, but I can’t do that until I actually have a grandchild, so that’s where you come in.”
“Who the hell is Bard?”
“Watch your language, young lady! Let’s shoot for ten months for grandkid #1. Talk it over with Peter and if you need another month or two I can be flexible.”

It’s a sure thing that Bard’s AI capabilities will improve, but based on its automatic notions of total control I can only hope that future iterations will never be given access to the nuclear launch codes.

Post Views: 1,354

6 Comments

Jim Stetson says:

May 23, 2023 at 5:05 pm

I don’t think Bard cares whose grandchildren you are enjoying, a little prospecting around a typical suburban neighborhood should uncover several choices of children that you can ‘grandparent’ to, don’t you think?
- grandpateddy1 says:
  
  May 24, 2023 at 11:54 am
  
  Well, that’s a good question. I could provide my own answer, but I think we need to hear from Bard on this. I asked it if it’s ok to grandparent other people’s kids. Below is Bard’s response:
  
  Whether or not it matters if you grandparent other people’s children is a personal decision. There are many factors to consider, such as your relationship with the children, your own health and energy level, and your interests and hobbies.
  
  Here are some things to think about when making your decision:
  
  Your relationship with the children: If you have a close relationship with the children you would be grandparenting, it can make the experience more enjoyable for everyone involved. You will be able to share your love of the children with their parents, and they will be able to provide you with support and guidance.
  Your own health and energy level: Grandparenting can be a lot of work, so it is important to make sure that you are physically and emotionally up to the task. If you are not in good health or do not have a lot of energy, you may want to consider grandparenting children who are older or who do not require as much attention.
  Your interests and hobbies: If you have interests and hobbies that you enjoy, you may want to consider grandparenting children who share those interests. This can help you to bond with the children and create lasting memories.
  Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to grandparent is up to you. There is no right or wrong answer, and what is best for one person may not be best for another. If you are considering grandparenting, it is important to weigh all of the factors involved and make the decision that is right for you.
  
  Here are some additional things to consider:
  
  The age of the children: If you are considering grandparenting young children, you will need to be prepared for a lot of energy and activity. Older children may be more independent and require less attention.
  The needs of the children: Some children may have special needs that require additional attention and care. If you are not able to provide the level of care that a child needs, you may want to consider other options.
  The expectations of the parents: The parents of the children you would be grandparenting may have certain expectations about your role. It is important to discuss these expectations with them before you make a decision.
  If you decide that you do want to grandparent other people’s children, there are a few things you can do to prepare:
  
  Get to know the children: Spend time with the children and get to know their personalities and interests. This will help you to bond with them and create a strong relationship.
  Talk to the parents: Discuss your expectations with the parents of the children. This will help to avoid any misunderstandings or conflicts down the road.
  Set boundaries: It is important to set boundaries with the children. This will help to ensure that you have a healthy relationship with them.
  Grandparenting other people’s children can be a rewarding experience. It can give you the opportunity to share your love and wisdom with children, and it can help you to create lasting memories. If you are considering grandparenting, it is important to weigh all of the factors involved and make the decision that is right for you.
  - Jim Stetson says:
    
    May 26, 2023 at 12:28 am
    
    That is hysterical. This may be the launching point of a new ‘dating’ app, may I suggest ‘Silver Tinder Tater Tots’ as a working title?
    - grandpateddy1 says:
      
      June 5, 2023 at 6:32 pm
      
      Jim, Silver Tinder Tater Tots has a lot going for it. How about a dating up for us ‘seniors’ called Stumble? I’ll ask Bard and see what he suggests.
Dominique Guenot says:

May 25, 2023 at 12:54 pm

I am a friend of innovation and technology.
I am wary of regulation as answer to fears.
I am a grand father.
In my view Bard’s answers just show the poverty of the current version from a writing perspective…. e.g., not a single quote !

This does not matter really. Bard is already on my Favorites list, and in competition with other form of search, and often winning to deliver faster and better results…. without ads !
- Ted Page says:
  
  May 25, 2023 at 1:41 pm
  
  All good points. I think AI is fascinating, and in general I’m impressed with what Google and others have done. I suspect that since my blog is fairly high in the search engine rankings for grandfathering, Bard gathered insights from my own blog posts in order to aggregate it’s writing. Like any technology, it’s not inherently good or bad; that’s dependent on how it’s used by people.
  
  Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts.
  
  Ted

I asked an AI chatbot to write about being a grandfather. Oh my God.

Based on what I saw this morning, things are already out of hand.

In 1950, a British cybernetics pioneer named Alan Turing developed what he called The Imitation Game, known today as the Turing Test.

From Bard’s perspective, we have complete control over when we’re going to become grandparents, like it’s deciding if we’re joining a gym or taking up knitting. Running with this idea, here’s an imaginary father/daughter conversation.

It’s a sure thing that Bard’s AI capabilities will improve, but based on its automatic notions of total control I can only hope that future iterations will never be given access to the nuclear launch codes.

6 Comments

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